SpuffyWeb Sadly Over-hyped

Supelice Dreadfully Boring

Teddie Blake The movie turns out to be a little better than the average. Starting from a romantic formula often seen in the cinema, it ends in the most predictable (and somewhat bland) way.

Guillelmina The film's masterful storytelling did its job. The message was clear. No need to overdo.

Michael Ledo Three bodacious young ladies are out in the desert looking for the treasure that belongs to Gage( Michael Hurst). The story is being told as a flashback from the opening scene. During this time we have repeated flashbacks to bring out plot points. As a grindhouse, the plot tends to be secondary to the violence, blood, and male fantasy. This one is no different as the plot is immaterial to the enjoyment of the individual scenes with nuns and a Japanese school girl with a killer yo-yo.The treasure belongs to the legendary "Pinky" a Keyser Söze type character.The film is for people who like to watch cat fights and cleavage. The girls douse themselves with water at the 38 minute mark. There is the typical grindhouse type of humor and those with a stop motion might want to check out the writing on Trixie's (Julia Voth) panties: Puffy P****. I love the girls in a vintage T-bird, a muscle machine for chicks.The film is a grindhouse romp.Parental Guide: F-bomb. girl/girl sex. Rather disappointing brief nudity (Saranne Lund)

dien That is the thing that bugged me the most about this film - 10 minutes in and I already new the twist ending. After that the film gets really boring.I can see what the writers were going for - a grind-house film in Memento style with slowly the story slowly unfolding in numerous flashbacks. Well, it worked to some extend. After 6th or 7th one I just rolled my eyes and said "Another one of those?". It gets dull pretty quickly.The acting is quite OK, with Michael Hurst and Kevin Sorbo doing a nice job. I think that Lucy Lawless and Rene O'Connor were not necessary and you only see them for about a minute.The three main actresses get their job done, but don't expect anything Oscar worthy. The others are just forgettable.Oh, and for a grind-house films there is too much CGI. And I mean too much.

Nick Damian This is a total awesome movie to watch -with not only cool camera work, tacky lines, totally tacky leads, but over the top sex action and nonsense that makes this more fun than the Tarantino movies that it is compared to.Certainly focused on women as eye candy, it doesn't try in any fashion to be anything but. There's somewhat of a story and it eventually gets there, but really - watching tits and ass in fine form will detract and distract you from the plot.Guns, strippers, creative camera work, split screens make this seem like a comic book and it probably actually is based on a comic book story - who knows.Perfect movie for those who aren't politically correct in terms of how women should behave. This is what the "Spice Girls" movie would be like if it was really a movie -not just a bunch of giggling girls.With totally ridiculous humor, over the top drama / action and women that truly bring the "Girl Power" on, this is a movie that is fun to watch - even with your girlfriend.Easy potential to be a series or a music video.I loved it.

MBunge If you took the look of Maxim magazine, the sound of a devoutly Mormon Quentin Tarantino and the soul of an empty plastic bottle of Sprite, threw them all into a tin pot and then blasted the pot with a WWII flamethrower, the melted-together mess would be something like Bitch Slap. This thing is like a B movie/exploitation flick made by people who've never actually seen a B movie/exploitation flick. It's about nothing but sex, violence and bad language where the sex is tamer than a 6 week old kitten, the violence is about as exciting as watching an episode of Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers and the bad language goes to such absurd lengths of euphemism that it leaves you longing for the bluntness of porn dialog.There are twin plot lines in this disaster. One concerns Trixie, Hel and Camero (Julia Voth, Erin Cummings and America Olivo), three tarted-up bad girls who drive into the dessert looking for the treasure of Gage (Michael Hurst), the guy wearing a thong they've got stashed in the trunk of their car. The other is a series of flashbacks that move backward in time, like that episode of Seinfeld, detailing the who, what and why of the first storyline. That dual approach gets really old, really fast but there are so many other things wrong with Bitch Slap that it doesn't even make the Top 10 list of how this film sucks.That list would be as follows…1. There is only one pair of naked breasts in this entire film and they don't belong to any of the starring actresses.2. There is only one so-called sex scene in the entire film and both participants remain fully clothed the entire time.3. Michael Hurst is, far and away, the best thing in the entire production. I like the guy and all that…but come on!4. The flashbacks look like Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow, if that movie's budget had been $67.50.5. The filmmakers rip off The Usual Suspects, though they don't even deserve to say the name "Keyser Soze".6. The entire production thinks it's waaaay funnier than it really is.7. The fight scenes look like a cross between pro wrestling and the fight scenes on the original Star Trek.8. Lucy Lawless and Renee O'Connor show up for one scene and DON'T make out.9. Kevin Sorbo shows up and looks like he got paid for this movie in Prozac.10. The same two characters fight the same climactic battle twice.The most pitiful thing about Bitch Slap is that the whole thing is constantly straining to be over the top and outrageous, yet only manages to wander in the general vicinity of that on two occasions. Once with a razor-tipped yo-yo and once when a woman gets bitten in the crotch. Other than that, this film is never more over-the-top or controversial than an episode of Blossom.Bitch Slap was made by some guys who worked on Hercules: The Legendary Journeys and Xena: Warrior Princess. They apparently set out to create some R-rated trashy, campy fun. What they ended up making was a PG-13 version of those same TV shows.