Incannerax
What a waste of my time!!!
ChikPapa
Very disappointed :(
Grimossfer
Clever and entertaining enough to recommend even to members of the 1%
Cristal
The movie really just wants to entertain people.
Screen_Blitz
Following the Arnold Schwartznegger rendition in the early 1980s, Conan the Barbarian has struck again on the silver screen, but not for an entertaining time. This updated rendition of the barbarian warrior succeeds boasted plenty of potential from its grittier update of the eponymous character. Unfortunately, this film lavishes its potential on a hopelessly unengaging story and direction that never quite lands. Directed by Marcus Nispel, the man behind two critically clobbered horror remakes 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre' and 'Friday the 13th', this sword-and-sorcery tale delivers a feast of viciously graphic violence and gore splatters that makes Zack Snyder's '300' look more tame, tightly embracing its hard R-rating. But one thing that Nispel proves is that you simply cannot score a compelling action piece just throw in one gruesome action scene after another after another without dedicating some time to construct the plot and characters. It is just grows numbing and unappealing after a while long before it reaches the end credits. Citing this movie as an abhorrent disaster may be saying a lot, but it is nowhere as fun, exciting, or even intriguing as it sets out to be. Set during the fictional Hyborian age, the film stars Jason Momoa as Conan, a barbarian warrior who sets out on a perilous journey to seek revenge against a ruthless warlord Khalar Zym (played by Stephen Lang) along with his tyrant army wiped out his village and ultimately murdered by father Corin (played by Ron Perlman). Joining him on his quest is free slave Tamara (played by Rachel Nichols) who helps him on his vendetta while fighting against a horde of hideous monsters and Zym's evil minions. Whether you are watch this in 3-D or in regular version, this historical epic more often than not feels like a chore to sit through. Although there is plenty of intense, graphic battle sequences to keeping moving, the film never rises above the level of a slipshod fantasy extravaganza with nothing to offer but an excess of visually compelling scenery to feast the eyes. The first twenty minutes are fairly proficient, introducing the setting as well as the titular character as he witnesses a horrific tragedy of his village and his father. The scenery of the ancient world, resembling the middle- earth universe of the 'Lord of The Rings', in which the action takes place is at least nice look at. But when it comes down to kicking the action in gear, that is when the film crumbles. Director Marcus Nispel appears to have almost no interest in plot and instead allots a vast majority of proceeding splicing a long series of choppily edited battle sequences, and they all stitched together with constant brief moments of talking that rarely amounts of any sort of development to the plot or characters. Now is there any ounce of excitement delivered throughout the proceeding? Yes, but it comes far and few in between to the point where you question your willingness to sustain to the end. And for the bigger question, was Jason Momoa the right choice for substituting Arnold Schwartznegger in the role? While Momoa's performance is not inept, the portrayal of his character is tarnish by his weak and at times, laughable dialogue. The same problem lies with Stephen Lang's portrayal of Khalar Zym. And Ron Perlman, good grief! What a waste of a wildly compelling actor. Conan the Barbarian is a unfertile sword-and-sorcery fantasy actioner plagued by an overabundance of graphically violent battle sequences without any solid effort of pushing for a coherent narrative. Those who come for to snack on some intense swordplay and graphic carnage will by mildly satisfied, while those seeking for a compelling story will be drenched in disappointment. Hollywood could use a sweet rendition of the barbarian warrior, but this is not it.
ccmiller1492
Apparently those who have not actually read and enjoyed the original Robert E. Howard stories are responsible for this film's incomprehensibly and unfairly underrated status. It's far superior to the earlier attempts and much truer to Howard's characterization. As a film it's also superior to such bloated and underwhelming projects as "Prince of Persia" and "Gods of Egypt" which were little more than boring big-screen video games with non-existent or nonsensical plots. The abundant action proceeds briskly and the film looks stunning. It's an excellent introduction to the Conan character with Jason Mamoa doing the barbarian proud. Unfortunately it's generating more fans from the DVD release than it did while during its theatrical run, which is probably going to preclude more of the Conan stories being filmed, on this scale at least.
info-12388
It's not great by any stretch, but then again, it's not completely terrible. It just sorta... is.I wont rehash the actors or the synopsis: there are over 300 reviews that already do that for you. My biggest complaint, above all, is the storytelling. First we're here, then we're there, then we have these new people, and they all work to save these other people, and meanwhile another group of people is running around wreaking havoc, and somehow — in this vast ménage of people — Conan manages to find himself in the middle of it all every single time.Oh, and he gets laid. But in true barbarian fashion, he leaves her. She's smiling... and probably pregnant — but she's happy. Joy.The story meanders like one of the gigantic war machines featured in the film. Perhaps you had to know Howard's novel first, but it seriously felt like the writers occasionally wrote themselves into the occasional corner and then said. "Plot twist!" before moving on in a completely new direction. And the inconsistencies! The evil witch daughter can conjure up sand demons to fight Mr. Barbarian, but somehow she cant do the same anywhere else? Are her powers limited to just sniffing around virgins and creating people from sand? I would have thought she could do much more, but maybe she spent a good time out of class.There are a few things that save it from being a complete disaster. The production design is quite good, even though Conan's giant skirt seems a bit unwieldy for a Man o Action. The women's costumes are sexy without being tacky, and the acres of leather armour are all well sculpted. Lord knows, the CG work is amazing, if pointless.Everything falling apart in the third act seemed to have mirrored the film's production — gigantic earthquakes that strike without warning or reason and a mask whose final effect was less than fearsome, a few waving tentacles and that was about it. I was waiting for the Dead to rise again when he put it on, but instead the dead seemed just as unwilling to make an appearance in this thing as I was, after a while, to watch it.
d-kampen
Conan the Barbarian is a really basic action/fantasy movie, and with really basic I mean really basic.The movie begins with short introduction to the world (voiced by the great Morgan Freeman)and after that an introduction to the main character Conan, the story really begins when a bad guy kills Conan's family in search for a magic artifact which will give him great power, Conan survives and goes on a revenge quest. The bad guy gives Conan some time to grow up and then finds the last thing he needs for his ritual, a woman with some special old blood. Conan and this girl meet each other and of course the fall in love. But happiness doesn't last long and the girl get's captured by the bad guy so Conan needs to go and rescue her. He of course succeeds to rescue here kill the bad guy and escape. And that's it.The movie itself was structured like a simple video-game, intro-walking-boss level-walking-boss level-etc-etc-final boss level(the last two boss levels even took place in a video-game like environment).But unlike the protagonist in a video-game Conan is invincible, there were dozens of times where he could've been easily killed but for some reason he just didn't The characters all came straight from the cookie-cutter, none off them had any depth and there wasn't any character development either. So because of this the characters were boring and this made the movie boring.Another minor thing that let this movie down where it's special effects they looked bad, especially in some of the fight-scenes.So overall this was a bad movie about a guy who liked swinging his sword, with bad structuring, boring characters and a way to basic plot. I would give this movie a 4,3/10