TrueJoshNight Truly Dreadful Film

Brendon Jones It’s fine. It's literally the definition of a fine movie. You’ve seen it before, you know every beat and outcome before the characters even do. Only question is how much escapism you’re looking for.

Lidia Draper Great example of an old-fashioned, pure-at-heart escapist event movie that doesn't pretend to be anything that it's not and has boat loads of fun being its own ludicrous self.

Taha Avalos The best films of this genre always show a path and provide a takeaway for being a better person.

Leofwine_draca This is another of those historical epics churned out in Italy in the early '60s, although there ain't much that's "epic" about this particular offering: it's a cheap and cheerful effort that never shows more than a dozen actors on the screen at the same time and cuts pretty much every corner when it comes to spending cash. Sadly, the plot isn't much to write home about either, another variation on the tired true-heir-to-the-throne-battles-evil-usurper theme that has been so done to death in these movies. I wouldn't mind a stale plot if the film offered any decent action, but this doesn't – with one exception I'll get to later.Supposedly this is a film set in the Middle East somewhere, so all the guys in it wear turbans and face paint and pretend. Perish the thought of having any real actors of Arabic descent in it! It's a talky offering that seems to take forever to get going, and even the usual run of plot ingredients – belly dancers, secret passages, palace intrigues, cruelty – are played out with a minimum of excitement and effort. Rik Battaglia is the erstwhile hero, although he's not particularly well built like the rest of the musclemen actors, so watching him take on ten men in a tug-of-war match is a little bit unbelievable. I never did figure out how that proved he was the rightful heir, but there we go.Paul Muller is the evil usurper, named Dakar here. Muller's been a real trooper in Italian cinema, appearing in everything from peplum to Jess Franco flicks and more besides. Here he hams it up a treat as the madman, and he also gets to be surrounded by some top quality eye candy from the likes of Gianna Maria Canale and Irene Tunc, so I'm not complaining.The first hour is a boring build up to the climatic attack on Dakar's palace, which takes place in the final fifteen minutes. I was looking forward to this bit, but it's here that the budget constraints become most apparent. Rather than attacking a genuine city, our heroes ambush a poorly-drawn picture of one; when Dakar looks out of the window to see the mob with flaming torches, it's pretty obvious that he's looking at lit match-heads! It's got to be one of the cheapest special effects I've seen in a while.Thankfully things do pick up with an excellent closing sword battle between Battaglia and Muller, one of those old fashioned ADVENTURES OF ROBIN HOOD-style things complete with men swinging on curtains, knocking over torches, jumping through scenery for no apparent reason (couldn't they have just gone around it?) and being thrown out of windows. It's like this five minute sequence belonged to a different, better film, it's so good. Sadly though it's not enough to save the tediousness of CONQUEROR OF THE ORIENT as a whole; this is definitely one of Italy's lesser offerings. Give me Hercules fighting a dragon over this any day.

unbrokenmetal The tyrant Dakar (Paul Muller) suppressed the people of his country with high 'tributes' long enough, they think. When Princess Fatima (Irène Tunc) refuses to marry Dakar and escapes from the palace, she falls in love with Nadir (Rik Battaglia) who wants to lead a rebellion against the tyrant. Luckily, his father has hidden a big treasure somewhere that can finance a whole army. Funny he didn't think of that before, during those many years of suppression when they were almost starving. But the writers' idea of 'clever' shows well in the scene when Nadir finds the princess floating in a boat. Mercenaries have been looking for Princess Fatima all over the country, and then he discovers an unknown woman wearing plenty of jewels. 'You must be Fatima', his father says, and everybody looks at the old man totally surprised. He needs to explain how he guessed this and everybody admires his wisdom. Maybe there are so many princesses floating around in boats that they are hard to distinguish...A collection of the usual Oriental clichés you've seen all before, made on a very low budget. The set decoration looks like a children's birthday party with gold stars glued to the wall. I watched a 74 minute fullscreen version of a film that was originally 87 minutes long and in widescreen format, yet I don't think additional scenes of better quality would change my impression much.

bkoganbing Conqueror Of The Orient seems a rather high-falutin' title for another one of those sand and scandal epics about a prince reclaiming his lost throne from exile. The influence of those old Universal epics with Jon Hall and Maria Montez is readily apparent.Rik Battaglia, an actor who did both spaghetti western and spaghetti sandal films is the lead here. He plays a prince who was spirited away when a usurper named Khan took away dad's throne. It was rumored that an infant prince survived and the new king was spending a lot of time to find him.That is when he wasn't tracking down a harem favorite named Fatima played by a pulchritudinous Irene Dunc. Her bosoms are enough to stir any straight man.You've seen it all before and better.

Damon Foster Another of those historical "epics" abusing the white-people-in-turbans approach. When it comes to Italian sword & sandal dramas, I prefer the more fantasy-themed ones with two-fisted muscle-men and the occasional monster. Unfortunately, THE CONQUEROR OF THE ORIENT replaces the more imaginative elements with enough clichés to make every plot-twist visible a mile away. Not only has the story been told many times before and since, but it's usually more entertaining in other variations of these often repeated themes (i.e. palace intrigue & conspiracies, avenging the death of one's father). It's dialog-heavy and most of its action scenes are pretty bad: Flimsy swords and dreadfully bad swordplay. I don't know if these weak (and few) duels were exciting back in 1960, because I'm seeing them through 21st century eyes. In short, the movie doesn't stand the test of the times and even in its English dubbed form, THE CONQUEROR OF THE ORIENT just isn't interesting.Even so, I enjoyed it more than Ridley Scott's GLADIATOR (2000). But then, I enjoyed getting a route canal more than I enjoyed GLADIATOR. To be fair, THE CONQUEROR OF THE ORIENT has its good points: The costumes aren't bad, the sets (curtains help cover the walls' lack of props) are okay, and them harem girls put Barbara Eden "Jeanie" to shame. Though not cheap by Italian 1960s standards, its resourceful budget cuts add unintended humor: A night-time cityscape is an obvious matte that looks like a cartoon. In one scene, the obligatory tyrant (Paul Muller) looks out the window of his lavish palace, to see revolting peasants carrying torches. It's so obvious that these 'torches' are lit matches that it's actually quite cute! When I watched this average tale of tunic-attired hero Nadir (Rik Battaglia), I had to tolerate a badly restored VHS tape with abrupt cuts (severing many sentences mid-word), scratches, and the "Something Weird Video" logo throughout. Anyway: I don't think there was any finger-printing or DNA testing back in the old primitive Middle East, so when an exiled prince(Battaglia) wants to prove he's the rightful heir to the throne, they have tests. One test is simply to hit a board using his sword! Oncethis feat is accomplished, our hero leads the rebellion to rescue Princess Fatima (Irene Tunc) and her cleavage. The reluctant bride was held captive by evil ruler Dakar (Paul Muller), until the palace is attacked by heroic Rik Battaglia. The final (and only) fight between Muller & Battaglia is decent, or at least better than the other action scenes in this slow-paced drama. In one decent stunt, the good guy swings on a vale and kicks Muller's stunt-double. Naturally, Rik Battaglia wins and gets the girl (and the country).