Dorathen Better Late Then Never

Sharkflei Your blood may run cold, but you now find yourself pinioned to the story.

Lollivan It's the kind of movie you'll want to see a second time with someone who hasn't seen it yet, to remember what it was like to watch it for the first time.

Guillelmina The film's masterful storytelling did its job. The message was clear. No need to overdo.

Leofwine_draca A classic exploitation title for a film with almost no exploitation features in it, this tame affair is hugely disappointing on every level. A low budget, cheap effects and amateur acting are all to be expected in films such as these, but the lack of action in the film - which doesn't pick up until the last twenty minutes - is intensely disappointing. This was my first exposure to a Troma film and it left me pretty deflated, but at least the trailer for A NYMPHOID BARBARIAN IN DINOSAUR HELL looks cool.So, the film has little happening except characters talking to each other a lot, and slapping each other and shouting. Big deal. There are also some incredibly racist attitudes towards the 'redneck' Bible-thumping farmers, which are intended as comedy but I'm not sure. The trouble with the film is the lack of any exploitative features. No nudity, swearing, violence, anything to get excited about. When the murders finally arrive the camera shies away from them, and all we get is a little bit of fake blood. At least some effort could have been taken with them, bad effects are better than no effects! This may be because this was actually filmed FIFTEEN YEARS before being released by Troma! The only thing the film has going for it are some humorous performances from the two male leads. The first, that of the farmer Harlan, is pretty funny, and he's a weird guy - he hates his wife but lusts after local prostitutes, he's apparently dim-witted but violent when he wants to be. He also looks a lot like Perry Mason but with a big bushy beard. The other performance is from a bald man with a distinct (and slightly overdone - but hey!) British accent, the cool, calm and collected ringleader. The main comedy highlight here is that he looks the spitting image of Sir Clive Sinclair, renowned Spectrum founder of the 1980s and something of a cult icon for those of us interested in those old ZX computers. In fact I think it was Clive in a rare acting role - but this information needs to be verified.Also on hand, and obviously to trade on his image as a horror icon, is John Carradine, whose scenes are filmed separately from the rest. Carradine brings the Biblical references to the film and presents it in a series of chapters about man's greed and evil leading to death and destruction. Poor John is looking pretty old here, it was one of his last films and he's obviously reading from an autocue, it's quite sad to see the type of films he was reduced to - although it has to be said some of his earlier efforts weren't much better! Altogether this was something of a missed opportunity, it has the right atmosphere but just not enough violence or action to make it entertaining. Preferably avoid if you can.

Tromafreak Enough sarcasm. I suppose it sucks that Carradine is dead and all, and I happen to know for a fact it sucks his boy David is dead, but inserted footage of John Carradine rambling is not what made this movie good. In fact, it was pretty much everything else. That's right, I said it. Demented Death Farm Massacre is a good movie. It's about time somebody said it. By the looks of most of the other reviews, this movie is quite under-appreciated. Well, I appreciate you, Death Farm.Good? Yes, but certainly not great, as most anyone will figure out within the first minute. A whole lot of awkward acting/dialog makes up this one. Most of the awkwardness is brought to you by two bickering couples, who just recently stole some diamonds. The plan is to hide out in Nowhere, Florida, and move in on some unsuspecting hicks, and use their house for a hideout. A hot little bumpkin chick offers the thieves some shelter, and you guessed it, Southern hospitality. Let's hope her loud-mouth, religious fanatic, moonshine-selling husband is as hospitable. Ol' Harlan turns out to be easygoing enough, that is, until one of the jewel thieves sets his sights on his lady. That, he cannot overlook. In fact, it might be time to dust off the ol' pitchfork. And why the hell not? O'l Harlan just bought her off her pa last week.Alright, well, maybe "good" was a bit of a stretch. Demented Death Farm Massacre is actually quite terrible, I'll admit that, but I stand by my claim of entertainment value. Oh, it's there. Even if it's just mostly some outlandish fat hick yelling at women, or there's always the acting... or the lack there of. If schlock ain't your cup of tea, then you probably won't find anything this particular Hixploitation epic has to offer to be even remotely appealing. Sounds to me like someone's wasting their time. This surprisingly worthy addition to my collection can be found on the first of seven "Toxie's Triple Terror" set, all of which contain three movies. I was equally shocked as I was delighted to discover that the other two movies on this set, Curse Of The Cannibal Confederates, and Deadly Daphne's Revenge, were every bit as good as this one... well, not exactly good. You know what I mean. 7/10

reptilicus Old drive-in movies never really die. Some of them just get new footage added and re-released and we are expected to think they are new! Way back in 1972 this movie first saw release as a soft core film about backwoods moonshiners against big city jewel thieves. I might be a forgotten film now if Fred Olen Ray had not grabbed it, spliced in 3 minutes, more or less, of John Carradine at random points (sort of like the way Edward D. Wood Jr inserted Bela Lugosi into GLEN OR GLENDA? back in 1952) and re-released it with a new title.I actually tried to like this film, and if you approach it not expecting too much you might not be disappointed . . .well, not TOO disappointed anyway.A moonshiner (George Ellis) deep in the North Carolina woods is too busy making and distributing his product and listening to a fire and brimstone preacher on the radio that he fails to even notice his lovely young wife (Trudy Moore). They have been married 4 whole days and he has yet to consummate the union. Well along come some crooks who have stolen over $1 million in diamonds. Their stolen Jeep breaks down near the farm so they take advantage of the offered hospitality. One of them, a young fellow named Rick (Mike Coolik) takes "advantage" to a new level when he sets eyes on the busty, barefoot country gal and he soon forgets all about his airhead girlfriend (Pepper Thurston) who came along with him.Now fooling around with the moonshiners wife is one thing, after all he only married her because her pa owed him a lot o' money and couldn't pay off, but when these durn city slickers decide to lay low on his farm and take over his 'shine business that's jest a-going' too dang fir y'all!This is when the title massacre begins. Carnage includes hit and run,death by pitchfork (and I used to think only Andy Milligan did that!), bear trap, bludgeoning and gun.Now about John Carradine, how does he fit into this? John introduces himself as "The Judge of Hell" though in most of his scenes he quotes from The Bible, something I would hardly expect a magistrate from The Other Place to do. He introduces the movie as one of the cases that came before him and outlines the sins each character commits. Watching him almost made this no-budget drive-in entry worth the time. I did say "almost"!This movie has recently resurfaced on DVD. I found it in a bargain bin, look for it in one near you. Viddy well brothers and sisters, viddy well.

tinchimp I bought this movie, as in paid over 10 English pounds for a film called Demented Death Farm Massacre: The Movie. I got Honey Britches. Okay, let that sum the disappointment in one line? The blurb sounded a total undiscovered gem, with the desperate Jewel Thieves hiding out with a clan of psychotic rednecks - ends in a brutal battle for survival.. Sounded almost like a wild combo of Dusk till Dawn and the Chainsaw massacre! The phrase polishing a turd springs to mind. Unfortunately, in the instance of buying videos a turd can be polished very nicely and sold under a groovy title to unsuspecting horror fans. To say the blurb is misleading would be an understatement. Lame people can be jewel thieves too.. just as psychotic rednecks can be goofy rather than aggressive... ARRRRGHGGGHHHHHLAME LOSER JEWEL THIEVES VS GOOFY JERK OFF RETARD FARMERS WHO DON'T KNOW A CHAINSAW FROM A MICROWAVE!!!!For the record, this movie was released in the UK as Demented Death Farm Massacre The Movie. Why, I have no idea.If you too ended up seeing this, please accept my commiserations... If you are reading up on this, please heed my warnings and avoid like the plague.. this doesn't have a 1.7 mark for nothing!!! (Probably worse than that coz its about to get a 1 from me!!!)