Plantiana Yawn. Poorly Filmed Snooze Fest.

Blucher One of the worst movies I've ever seen

Calum Hutton It's a good bad... and worth a popcorn matinée. While it's easy to lament what could have been...

Haven Kaycee It is encouraging that the film ends so strongly.Otherwise, it wouldn't have been a particularly memorable film

popcorninhell It's amazing what you can find when you're not looking. While surfing through the various sites I usually frequent to watch free movies, I stumbled across this inept little monstrosity hidden among poverty row horrors and cardboard cutout sci-fi. Released at the very beginning of the drive-in double-features golden age, Fire Maidens of Outer Space is arguably one of the worst films ever made.Fire Maidens of Outer Space concerns a team of male astronauts who are launched from Earth to research one of Jupiter's Moons. When they arrive however they are greeted by a population of beautiful women seeking mates to continue the species. As far as plots go, it's not the worst sci-fi concept; it's somewhere between season 3 of Lost in Space (1965-1968) and Gene Roddenberry slumming it. Yet what sets Fire Maidens apart from other mediocre sci-fi; what makes it closest to the spirit of Ed Wood than any other movie in 1956 is it's abysmal failure on all fronts.The direction can be best described as shoot and point; giving no reference points, establishing shots and worse still, stealing all the atmosphere. The dialogue is asinine with so many poorly conscripted plot points and utterances seemingly taken out of Leave it to Beaver (1957-1963). Actors sit and stand in front of cobbled together sets that flimsily sway whenever blocking is required. When the crew stumbles around outside in what looks like a public park, the camera keeps a distance if only so the crew can avoid having to wait for a permit. As for the acting itself; well, let's just say its as cardboard as their spaceship.Now by this point, fans of infamously bad director Ed Wood might have pricked their ears up. Does Fire Maidens truly saunter past that line of just plain awful into Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959) open DVD case at your own risk awful? Yes, Fire Maidens does reach that low, low bar, offering the same shoddy workmanship, sluggish editing and absurdly contrived goofiness you would expect. What's more Fire Maidens rewards an already suffering audience with pretentious Greek character names and blaring classical music screeching in the background. Who knew that a movie featuring a grousing scab monster would also feature a five minute interpretive dance about Grecian urns. Thanks movie for making me feel like being stuck in a dentist's waiting room, trapped under something heavy.Seriously, Plan 9 (1959) is actually a better movie. If Fire Maidens of Outer Space was made today, it would be on the dusty top shelf of a Freshman film student's dorm closet. It simply wouldn't be viewed unless that said student wanted to feel embarrassed. By virtue of being made in 1956 when out-of-control teenagers weren't really paying attention to the screen, the film did find distribution. Now we can see it on youtube.com for free. Thank goodness for the modern age. Because of it we get to watch bad movies for free insuring the only thing we waste is our time.

Uriah43 It appears that my evaluation of this film may differ from a vast majority of comments made about it. That's okay. Obviously, other viewers gave their honest opinions and I fully understand and respect their point of view. Be that as it may, allow me to say that I honestly enjoyed this movie. For several reasons. First, I think that in order to fully appreciate a film like this a person really needs to have experienced the time period in which it was made. Things were different and more basic back then. For example, this was an era without personal computers, cable television, cell phones or anything like that. Slide rules were used instead of hand-held calculators and Sputnik hadn't yet been launched. The drug epidemic, Vietnam and the sexual revolution had not yet occurred either. Mini-skirts hadn't been invented and all women wore their skirts below the knee. As a result, young men had to use their imagination to a greater degree. And nothing is better for a young man's imagination than watching a dozen flirtatious "fire maidens" performing a dance routine in alluring attire. If that sounds "tame" then let me just say that it was an innocent time. And this film captures that charm and innocence. Now, don't get me wrong, this is a 1950's era, grade-B, science fiction film all the way. It has bad acting, cheap sets, a thin plot and terrible special effects. I realize all of this. But it was never intended to be taken seriously. It was simply meant to be enjoyed for what it was--a pleasant diversion at a local drive-in on a Saturday night. And what could be a more enjoyable diversion than watching "Hestia" (Susan Shaw) and a dozen beautiful "fire maidens" being rescued from a deadly monster by British and American astronauts on the 13th moon of Jupiter? All it takes is a little imagination.

Dextrousleftie You know, in spite of how bad this one is I really like it. It's one of my fav of the older MST3Ks, because of the sheer cheese factor and the very funny riffing on this travesty by the SOL crew. The sad thing is they took a few bits of interesting plot(they didn't even know if Jupiter had a 13th moon in the 50s!) and padded it out with the most ridiculous things - bad dancing, loathsome men leering at pretty girls, a really stupid 'monster'(which they never explain the origins of), men smoking and sitting around, an inexplicable cup of poisoned wine, and a sacrifice that never quite happens. The science part of this sci fi movie is almost non-existent. The 'astronauts' don't wear spacesuits; the ship is retarded looking and wouldn't even get off the ground; two levers control every function on the ship; the moon is identical to Earth in every way; the Atlanteans speak English with no explanation; and not only is the trip way too fast when they communicate with Earth there is no time lag whatsoever even though they're millions of miles apart. The Stranger in Paradise soundtrack is so repetitive that it makes you want to stick an ice pick in your ear after awhile so you don't have to listen to it anymore. Lots of padding, male chauvinism, girls in skimpy costumes, and innuendo. Horrible, to say the least. But wonderfully cheesy, which is why its so amusing in spite of all of these defects. MST3K just had so MUCH to work with! The movie isn't dull like so many Corman films, in spite of the padding.

keith-moyes I love cheesy Fifties SF movies. They evoke the world of my childhood more powerfully than any other kind of movies. In the UK, most of these movies were given A or X certificates, so I wasn't able to see them when they were first released, but the few I did see all left an indelible impression. One, believe it or not, was Fire Maidens. I guess I was only about 8 at the time, but the Creature dominated my play for weeks afterwards and I never forgot the movie.I didn't get to see it again until the late Seventies, when it showed as part of an all-night SF programme at a repertory cinema. It was a terrible print and had a complete reel missing, which made little difference to its coherence. Amazingly, although I could now see how truly desperate the movie is, I got a real frisson watching it. Part of me could still see it through an eight-year-old's eyes.As a result, I have a fondness for this movie that reason cannot explain. I endorse all that other reviewers have said but still enjoy it far more than it deserves. I would only add a couple of observations and one heartfelt plea.Firstly, the product placement doesn't stop with Longines. Why start the movie with a pointless flight from America, except to get the TWA logo on the screen? Later in the picture we see a couple of military types in a corridor seeking admittance to the control room. It is a completely unnecessary scene that required the building of an additional set. Why is is there? Check out the notice on the wall next to the guard: "Drink Coca Cola."Secondly, this kind of bottom-of-the-barrel garbage is unusual for British movies of the era. There is a whole strata of film making that did not seem to exist in Britain. There were no British equivalents of Ed Wood, Phil Tucker, Gerry Warren or Tom Graef: wannabee film makers with the sheer cheek to get movies made and shown despite the fact they had no money, no time and no talent. Their movies were undoubtedly abortions, but at least they got released. I suspect it was a cultural thing: that kind of maverick, 'can do' attitude was common in America but alien to Britain in the Fifties. It comes as no surprise to learn that Cy Roth, the writer/producer/director of Fire Maidens, was an American.Finally, I have a copy of Fire Maidens on NTSC video tape and on DVD. Both are edited versions, missing most of the surreal scene with the secretary in the observatory, and both appear to be transcribed from a poor TV broadcast (there is heavy fringing throughout).I know that better prints exist, because a complete version of Fire Maidens was shown on cable TV about 15 years ago. Does any one know where I can get a good print? Help me please!!