Gladiatress

2004 "Does my gluteus maximus look big in this?"
4.2| 1h29m| en| More Info
Released: 19 August 2004 Released
Producted By: Mission Pictures
Country: United Kingdom
Budget: 0
Revenue: 0
Official Website:
Synopsis

Three unlikely heroines set out to thwart a Roman invasion and save Celtic Britain in their own unique and outrageous style.

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Mission Pictures

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Reviews

KnotStronger This is a must-see and one of the best documentaries - and films - of this year.
Melanie Bouvet The movie's not perfect, but it sticks the landing of its message. It was engaging - thrilling at times - and I personally thought it was a great time.
Phillipa Strong acting helps the film overcome an uncertain premise and create characters that hold our attention absolutely.
Staci Frederick Blistering performances.
sweavo Slightly weak, but funny and delightful movie clearly written by and for British geeks. Don't expect Hollywood production values, or Hollywood tropes in this movie. The movie is full of funny observations on life in British culture, and being a woman. I disagree that this movie is missing wit, but I think it needs a bit of wit from the watcher.I think the movie was let down by its packaging, as the kind of people who will enjoy it will not likely select that cover.Could end up as a cult favourite, backed by fans who enjoy what's unique about this movie.
Neil Welch Three British sisters - a chieftaness, a loser, and a warrior, get involved with the invading Romans.Ostensibly a feminist spoof of Gladiator, this is actually essentially a feature-length sketch from the Channel 4 sketch show Smack The Pony, providing a vehicle for the three women performers to do their thing. In practical terms, this means that Fiona Allen comes out best, since her warrioress demands underplaying: conversely the overacting of Doon Mackichan and Sally Phillips, which works quite well in the context of a sketch show, becomes irritating and downright exhausting after half an hour. The film is 89 minutes long, so draw your own conclusions.The script is not bad, roaming between situation comedy, slapstick, wordplay, daftness, and wit. And, for a low budget film, it looks more expensive than it is, although you are unlikely to mistake it for a big budget blockbuster.
deamond9 On the video cover, there's a back view of a girl in a short Roman skirt, and some text which says, "Does my Gluteus Meximus look big in this?"That one costume, and that one joke, is better than anything in the entire movie. I swear, it made me wonder of it's so much to ask that watching a movie be at least as entertaining as looking at the cover.All the women, even in the actual arena, are fully clothed in baggy fur. The sets are obviously cheep, jokes are just bad, it seems to have been made by people who don't know anything about movies. There's one good scene;In this movie the Tpits are depicted as always wearing severed rotting human heads around their necks like necklaces. In one scene the 3 (three) main characters are disguising themselves as 2 (two) Tpits. The first one has an actual head around her neck, but the second one has the third one standing inside her clothes pretending to be a severed head. I recommend instead;The ArenaSparticusMonty Python's Holy grail
Tyferra This movie was possibly the worst movie I've ever seen. That may be overly harsh because I have seen "Anaconda" and "Pearl Harbour" and even parts of "Son of the Mask" but quite honestly, this film gave me a headache.Okay, good things... good things... well, the acting was pretty good.On to the not-so-good things. It was confusing. I mean, there was something about Romans and Britons, divine intervention, something about bees was mentioned, a kidnapping, a brief fight or something, coming back form the dead, a tunnel, a duck... I mean, it was too much random stuff thrown into a blender with the hope that it would turn out all right.Someone told me it was a comedy once, but only ONE of my group of friends gave anything resembling a laugh once, (at the final line of the film.) I'd be quite prepared to admit that I simply 'didn't get it' because it had heart, proved by the fact that I feel bad for writing this. However, it was a waste of 80 minutes and a waste of the pizza I mindlessly consumed while my brain was straining to find a plot.I take back what I wrote about it being the worst movie ever, but it was certainly the most confusing.