Mummy an' the Armadillo

2004 "Secrets, murders and lies... all in the name of family."
4.4| 1h41m| R| en| More Info
Released: 29 January 2004 Released
Producted By: Sandstorm Films
Country: United States of America
Budget: 0
Revenue: 0
Official Website:
Synopsis

In the middle of nowhere sits the Armadillo Café. The once popular, but now desolate, café is run by a troubled, booze-addled mother (Betty Buckley) and her disturbed family (Lori Heuring, Brad Renfro, Jonathon Schaech). Their dark secrets are threatened when Sarah (Clare Kramer) arrives, seeking answers to her past. Turmoil reigns and emotions boil over as the horrifying truth unravels and Sarah barely escapes with her life.

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Reviews

Platicsco Good story, Not enough for a whole film
HeadlinesExotic Boring
Peereddi I was totally surprised at how great this film.You could feel your paranoia rise as the film went on and as you gradually learned the details of the real situation.
SanEat A film with more than the usual spoiler issues. Talking about it in any detail feels akin to handing you a gift-wrapped present and saying, "I hope you like it -- It's a thriller about a diabolical secret experiment."
Billy_Crash I loved the claustrophobic atmosphere and the darkness, and the acting was even solid, but the story was sorely lacking.Converting a stage play to film can be a difficult task, but as long as the actors maintain the drama, then all is well. The troupe did just that, but the story's revelations were hum-drum and very mediocre. Even the "surprises" left me with no emotional response. As far as stories go, the subtleties in the movie didn't have the "big bang" effect they should have. That's because the essence, the mystery of the tale, was nothing new or intriguing. If the narrative was more gripping and unique, then the subtleties (what little there were actually) would have been far more poignant.Some list this as a horror movie, but it isn't at all. As for a drama, definitely - but as far as the suspense or thriller aspect, not by a long shot.
HEFILM You can count the number of shots on one hand of this overlong trapped in one room with actors who either under or overact with an equal measure of indifference. The writing is dull and they can do nothing with it.Betty Buckley comes off the best as she has stage experience to put life into lifeless material like this, but another reason she comes off well is that she has the smallest part.This is really a dull small scale play shot in a way that is totally unimaginative. The plot's big twist was obvious to me from the start and the Armadillo story has little or nothing to do with what's going on. The story is loaded with back story none of which the film can afford to shoot but you also get the impression it never occurred to them to even try. The blocking of the actors is crappy and this would possibly be an even duller play than it is a film.Half baked Sam Shepard play is what this really is. Features a bad "retard" character that is probably the worst thing about it, but the worst thing is how boring it all is. J.S. Cardone does nothing to make this feel like a film. Being trapped in one room is no excuse for directing something this boringly. You can only call this a thriller if you consider a character being tied up in a chair for most of the time a thrill. Watching this film feels like a really terrible week on a soap opera. No edge, no convincing characters or situations, do not press play on this dud.
BlackSox1919 Another case of a stage play taken to the screen with no adaptation. There is a different dynamic for stage dialog versus movies, and it is painfully obvious as the characters deliver lines with no sense of pace. It comes off as a bunch of people just saying lines *at* one another. That's just one of the things that's wrong with this movie. What's worse is the loose, relatively incoherent plot. The simplistic relationship between the characters leads to a letdown when the final "dark secret" is revealed. The film tries for an intense, psychological edge; but the intensity never escalates beyond a bunch of people screaming and waving various weapons at one another, and the psychology never gets much beyond Psych 101.
Carlos1012CAF Today, August 2, 2005, I happened to view the DVD for "The Mummy An' The Armadillo". Before I review the film, I will say that the only special features you get, is a "BEHIND THE SCENES", which features interviews with the beautiful, Clare Kramer, and much of the cast, including writer/director J.(JOE)S. Cardone. I learned his name was Joe from the interviews. Also, you get what is called a "Theatrical Trailer" from the back of the DVD cover box, but really is "Trailer" on the DVD, right under the "BEHIND THE SCENES" feature. Though, I have to say, I enjoyed the "BEHINDS" and the "TRAILER". Now, on with the film."The Mummy An' The Armadillo" begins with the opening credits, with flashes and sounds of lightning and visuals of certain objects, which are important pieces to the plot. We then are shown the beautifully, talented, Clare Kramer(Sarah). She opens a door, leading into, what we realize later on, is the Cafe. She wonders for a bit, trying to see who's in it, before running into Lori Heuring(Billie), who offers her coffee, to which Sarah responds, "I don't drink coffee...I have a weak bladder." Sarah sits in the table, and she and Billie get to know each other. The lights in the Cafe are off by the way, and come back on while Sarah and Billie are talking. Sarah freaks, before the lights turn on, and Billie offers her a drink. Sarah says she doesn't drink. The lights turn back on and she serves Sarah and tells her to drink, that it'll calm her nerves. Sarah says she's calm now, now that the lights are on. Billie asks Sarah if she would like to eat something. Sarah says if it wasn't a bother and asks what they have. Billie tells her to look in the menu and she starts asking for all these things that Billie doesn't have, and thinks Billie wants to get her mad, and, Billie, in the end, serves her Stew. In comes the sheriff, who starts to talk with Billie, as Sarah eats her stew. Sarah goes to the bathroom then comes back. The Sheriff tells Billie to make sure nothing happens like the last time, she assures him it won't, he later leaves. Next comes Jodi Lyn O'Keefe(Jackie), who comes in to sell Billie an object, asks Billie for $50 dollar payment, and Bille says that Jackie told her that it was for $25. They have a small quarrel about the money and Billie pays her. She stares at Sarah. Billie realize she must go, and Sarah hands her her car keys, and Billie promises to be back, tells Sarah she could have anything she wants "On the house", but, not for Jackie. She leaves and Jackie and Sarah have a small conversation, and tells Sarah what she really was eating, and Sarah stops eating. Jackie then tells Sarah that if she stays, something bad was going to happen, and Sarah says she was not going to scare her. Jackie makes it for Sarah to know, that she wasn't kidding, and she leaves. Sarah then roams the place and goes into a bedroom. She starts looking at photographs and breaks one accidentally by the loud crash noise of lightning, then decides to remove the picture from the glass, cuts herself, then takes the picture and places it in her purse. She slowly walks out of the room, only to be stuck in the head at gunpoint with a revolver, by Betty Buckley(Let). Let says she will blow her brains out if she moves and has her seated on the chair and tied by Brad Renfro(Wyatte). Let asks Sarah all sorts of questions and has Wyatte feel the heart of Sarah, holding her breast, and telling Wyatte that her heart is different and, that Sarah's was full of desire, etc. Wyatte lets go and tells Sarah he is sorry, crying, then heads out the door. Let follows him, then sits back to talk with Sarah. She drinks and passes out. Sarah calls out to Wyatte, and Wyatte comes, asking what she did, and Sarah said nothing, that she drank and passed out. Wyatte says she always does that when she reaches the end of the bottle. He puts Let to sleep and Sarah begs Wyatte to untie her. He tells her he can't until Let says it's OK. They have a personal conversation, then in comes Johnathon Schaech(Jesse), with two women he met and promised them a party. Jesse asks what's going on, looks at Sarah and winds up leaving to the bedroom, where Let sleeps, while the others just stay there. Sarah tells one of the two girls to convince Jesse to let her go. Jesse notices a broken glass on the floor, where Sarah dropped the photograph, and finds the broken picture frame on the floor, hidden under the bed, with the picture missing. He comes out, and the girl keeps her word to Sarah and asks Jesse to let Sarah go and he says no and she tells Sarah she tried. Jesse then ends the party and has the two girls leave, then tells Wyatte to go to the hole/basement and stay there. He starts messing with Sarah and eventually Billie returns and gets Jesse to stop. Jesse leaves in rage and doesn't come back for the rest of the film. Billie tells Sarah that she knows who she is, and you learn the secret of The Mummy An' The Armadillo.This was a great film. Big props for beautiful Clare Kramer, in a wonderful role, that deserves commending.