Boobirt Stylish but barely mediocre overall

Micransix Crappy film

InformationRap This is one of the few movies I've ever seen where the whole audience broke into spontaneous, loud applause a third of the way in.

Mischa Redfern I didn’t really have many expectations going into the movie (good or bad), but I actually really enjoyed it. I really liked the characters and the banter between them.

Nick Selwood Watched this again last night just to remind myself what a great director like Godfrey Ho can do.Ninja Terminator is unbelievable from start to finish. Notice the clever, abstract almost Lynchian touches where he seems to be showing us a different film from the one we are watching. See the amazing lifelike crabs in Richard Harrison's kitchen - not steamed crabs but drunken crabs...Now I ask you, what other film has got drunken (or steamed) crabs? Hmmm??? None! Thats right...and that shows why Godfrey Ho is ahead of the pack.The acting, as usual, is superb. The sheer presence of Richard Harrison carries the film as usual with a Godfrey Ho epic but the Jaguar Wong character also engages with his non-stop smiling persona and seemingly limitless energy as he beats up assailant after assailant with no problem at all.For more evidence of the greatness of Godfrey Ho and Richard Harrison look no further than their masterpiece, Ninja Squad, which I will review at a later date. Ninja Squad is perhaps an even better showcase of Godfrey Ho's talent and genius.

BA_Harrison An unbelievably daft effort from Godfrey Ho, the king of crap ninja movies, Ninja Terminator sees Ho's regular star Richard Harrison once again donning his natty camouflage suit to fight a variety of similarly garbed bad guys, all the while performing totally unnecessary cartwheels and back-flips.This time, Harrison plays Harry, one of a trio of good ninjas who steal a precious, magical golden statue from their evil boss. When one of the trio is killed and part of the statue is taken back, Harry enlists the help of his friend Jaguar Wong (who is a cool-as-ice, high-kicking bad-ass) to protect his dead friend's sister and try and retrieve the missing piece.Despite the story making little or no sense for most of the running time (which is what you get when you splice together footage from two different films, as is apparently the case here), Ninja Terminator is still well worth watching thanks to countless completely insane moments guaranteed to make you howl with laughter: watch in awe as Harry proves that no melon is a match for his ninja sword skills; be puzzled as a breakfast of live crabs suddenly turns nasty; wonder why the hell Hwang Jang Lee is wearing a bad blonde wig for most of the film; giggle uncontrollably as a toy robot menacingly delivers video tapes; and then check ebay to see if you too can get a cool Garfield phone like the one Harry uses.Amongst all this unexplainable, but very entertaining silliness, there are also plenty of pretty good martial arts fights (Jack Lam, as Jaguar Wong, is excellent and displays loads of decent moves before his inevitable battle against super-kicker Lee). Throw in a couple of gratuitous sex scenes, and some awful dialogue, and what you have is one hell of a fun film.

bobdyland From the steamed crabs to explosive squash balls, diabolical dialogue to extraordinary wigs, death threat delivering toys to the most unsexy sex scenes ever, this has to be the very best cut and splice shitshower ever to grace the home video market. Bizarrely the soundtrack is genuinely good, as are some of the fight scenes.Take the following conversation between Jaguar Wong (yes, that's his name; the main baddie's called Tiger Chang) and Hapless Henchman 1, bearing in mind that the characters don't actually know each other - "Can I dying man have a last request? A cigarette?" "Well I doubt you'll contract lung cancer before I kill you, hahahahaha!" "I appreciate your concern for my wellbeing. Oh, and have one yourself... I'd hate for you to remember me as a mean son of a bitch." "Hmmm, I don't usually smoke this brand... but I'll do it for you." Watch this film.

ithearod POSSIBLE SPOILERS - (Although a movie like this could really never be "spoiled", it's so rotten to begin with!) Never in my life have I seen a fight scene with the premise being, "Fighting for information about directions to the restaurant". Keep a lookout for this scene. It begins and ends with nothing more than, "Pardon me, but where is this restaurant?", follows with serious ass-whipping, and proceeds to "So, are you gonna tell me where the restaurant is now?!", whereupon, the man points, and the camera swings, to illustrate the restaurant, a dozen or so yards away. Priceless.There are countless gems in this "It's one movie, it's not two movies!" genre-film. (there's gotta be a name for the spliced B-movie genre, right?) I won't list them all. Suffice it to say that Jaguar Wong's part of the movie gets my vote for superior part of the film. Jaguar truly is one of the coolest men to ever have walked the earth. Notice how he *never* closes his lips, ever!! Chews his gum with his mouth open *always*! He is the coolest, and his kung fu rocks, a nice hard-kicking, joint-locking, modern hapkido style, powerful! See this if you have a chance. And watch out for those wild crabs!