Tedfoldol
everything you have heard about this movie is true.
Deanna
There are moments in this movie where the great movie it could've been peek out... They're fleeting, here, but they're worth savoring, and they happen often enough to make it worth your while.
lemon_magic
This film has one thing going for it: the lead actress is really cute and entirely adorable. She can't act for beans (she can barely get her lines out), but she looks good on camera. No, she doesn't wear a whole lot of clothes for most of the movie, but she brings a certain dewy-eyed fawn appeal to her scenes. Think live action version of a Japanese Anime about superhero school girls like Sailor Moon - sexy-but-innocent- and you'll have the idea. As for the rest of it: Total crap. Most egregious is the "rollergator" himself, who ranks as a special effects somewhere below the hand-puppets in "Hobgoblins" (where stagehands held the puppets against the actors at some points) and the forced-perspective rubber dinosaurs in "Future War". He doesn't even have real "arms" - just molded pictures of arms on his torso. And the actor dubbing his voice really ought to be beaten with wet noodle until he understands the difference between "spunky/street wise" and "New Zoo Review". And it's not enough to have him be a talking alligator/dinosaur - they had to make him a RAPPING one. This would have been OK if the rapping was decent, but "Rollergator"s rap forced cutesie-poo lyrics and delivery wouldn't cut it on Sesame Street, The Electric Company, or Schoolhouse Rock. Joe Estevez is in this. I usually like Joe as an actor, but this morass brings out his worst,well,everything. I could only watch "Rollergator" in short bursts because my eyes and ears kept bleeding. I finished it, looking really hard for something else beside the blond lead to like, but it was like panning for gold nuggets in a dung heap. Avoid at all costs.
jimevarts
Plot summary: a girl tries to keep a puppet away from Joe Estevez, who wants it to exploit it to make money to keep his carnival open. I was able to glean this from other reviews because I really couldn't get that much information from the recording itself.At least Joe Estevez was kind enough to shout all his unintelligible lines so you can make out the word "wiener" once in a while. It seems like this movie was made by this method: 1. Donald Jackson went to his job as a janitor at a carnival and accidentally left his belt-buckle spy camera on the whole time. 2. He watched it and thought it seemed kind of boring so he dubbed loud acoustic guitar music over the whole thing. 3. He added credits and called it a movie.I don't know whether you'd call this a spoiler or not, but the rollergator is a puppet that the main character carries around with her. It doesn't do any rollering. So the name is a bit of a reach. I would have gone with "Backpackpuppet" if I were in charge of naming it. If you didn't know Joe Estevez was an actor of sorts who probably required payment, you could reasonably believe this recording was made for free. Maybe he didn't know he was in it. That would explain some things.Still. A better love story than Twilight.
gridoon2018
Well, if the title hasn't already clued you in, just a basic outline of the "plot" should be enough to help you decide if this is the kind of film you would ever be interested in watching: young girl (around 18-20) who likes roller-blading befriends a purple TALKING baby alligator and tries to protect him from a greedy carnival owner who wants to use the verbally-not-challenged creature as a sideshow freak. She is helped by a female karate instructor and another, even younger roller-blading girl equipped with a mean little slingshot. The apathy with which everyone accepts the existence of a talking alligator is a surreal element, but mostly the movie is concerned with trying to be funny, and rarely succeeds. It is made with all the production values and technical elegance of an amateur home video, but the most annoying thing about it must be the soundtrack, which has guitars playing literally non-stop, from the first second to the last, and sometimes so loudly you can't even hear the dialogue (not that you miss much!). Despite all that, it's hard to fully hate this film, maybe because it clearly aims so low and proudly wears its cheapness on its sleeve. Or maybe because Sandra Shuker is such a sweetie-pie. (*1/2)
wolfhell88
A very nice and funny independent production, a road movie on Rollerblades: Sandra Shuker plays a young woman who finds a talking baby alligator (I'm not a baby, I'm almost twelve)who is running away from a fair market owner (Joe Estevez) who wants to make a lot of money with an talking alligator. The girl puts on her Rollerblades and they start into a fascinating journey.The girl helps the alligator to escape and get back to the swamp and to his friend the Swamp Farmer, played by Conrad Brooks, maybe the last survivor of Ed Wood's "Plan 9".The story is really nice and the end when Joe Estevez turns into an alligator is one of the funniest scenes ever. Since "Hell comes to Frogtown and "Roller Blade Seven" I'm interested in the work of director Donald G. Jackson. Roller Skaters, Ninjas, talking Alligators and pretty girls and not to forget his unique visual style makes the difference between Jackson and other Low Budget Filmmakers.If you'd expect an action movie, forget it but if you like bizarre movies who are not like other ones than give this one a chance.
