Protraph Lack of good storyline.

TeenzTen An action-packed slog

WillSushyMedia This movie was so-so. It had it's moments, but wasn't the greatest.

Sarita Rafferty There are moments that feel comical, some horrific, and some downright inspiring but the tonal shifts hardly matter as the end results come to a film that's perfect for this time.

latakiahaze Utterly dreadful. A pitiful slasher with no redeeming qualities. Drags on and on like a train wreck in slow motion and the acting is not camp, it's just plain bad. What is so unforgivable about this movie is that with all the ingredients: a derelict asylum and a lunatic movie director making snuff movies on the fly, its difficult to see how the makers could fail to make at least a halfway decent horror film. This one misses the mark by a mile. Spurious sex scenes and tiresome adolescent remarks about mainstream slashers such as Saw and Hostel weigh this plodding mess down even more. Only good as a cure for insomnia.

movieman_kev An insipid director, hoping to make the next great 'torture-porn' film winds up going insane from finding some 8-MM snuff films in the abandoned mental asylums that the crews' shooting in, in this lame B-grade horror movie-within a movie-within a movie. The movie apes Saw, Hostel, & Scream among others, but lacks the charm, wit, or even watchabilty of any of those aforementioned films. Leaving us with nothing to do other than twiddle our thumbs and periodically check our watches while the mostly unbearable 90 minutes or so drones on and onEye Candy: Riikka Niemi & Rita Suomalainen both bare their respective asses (it's a shame though as the movie could've easily had much more nudity)My Grade: D-DVD Extras: just a trailer for this film & trailers for "Devil's Ground" and "Columbus Day" is all you get

korlat2 The tag line for this offering from the bowel of Satan is 'There's no sequel for you'; and trust me…if you have the balls to stick with this pile of steaming poop through to the bitter end, you'll thank all that you hold to be holy that there won't be.I don't know where to start really. The plot is the most contrived that you'll ever wish to see in and grade F movie…I won't even dignify this with the honorific of a 'B' movie…that would be an insult.Basically a film crew turns up at a derelict Asylum somewhere on the border of Russia…it never really explains the location…where 30 years previously a demented doctor decided to go into the film making business by turning out his own snuff movies by using the inmates as his cast. The erstwhile medic then disappeared taking the majority of his footage with him. The modern day crew turn up to re-create the events in a schlock horror movie.The plot then, of course, is totally predictable as the new director assumes the mantle of his real-life predecessor and starts joyfully killing off the cast and crew in various horrific ways.Let me talk for just a moment about the actor who portrays this new and improved homicidal maniac; I feel he has to have special mention, although there is plenty of guilt to go around. His name is Steve Porter. Don't bother getting too attached to his performance, which is the most wooden one I've seen since Pinocchio, as I can almost guarantee after this movie we won't be seeing him again…unless it's on his mug shot as he is led away by the police after being arrested for crimes against the viewing public. I mean, he can't help looking like a refugee Amish extra from 'Witness'…I won't hold that against him. But why the hell does he have to deliver every line like he's an alumni from the William Shatner school of acting? He was awful. The stick up his ass looked like it had a stick up its ass. His manic eye-rolling teeth-baring performance as an insane killer was silly to the point of being ludicrous. I cringed as I watched it, but for all the wrong reasons. It wasn't fear it was embarrassment.Finnish director Tommi Lepola who also made that unforgettable 2003 classic Kohatalon Kirja (aka 'The book of fate'…remember that one? Of course you don't!) puts the action together in a totally lackluster way…you can almost feel his desperation in every scene as he quickly comes to the inescapable conclusion that he is working with the absolute WORST bunch of actors, writers and continuity people since the immortal Ed Wood graced the silver screen and tries to salvage something from this rapidly sinking tugboat of a movie.But despite all their combined efforts…or perhaps because of them…the end product had the inevitability of a low speed car crash.Lepola also seems to have a predilection with actresses with large butts. It was almost like you couldn't act in his movie unless your ass reached a certain weight; it was quite Bizarre. All I have to say on that particular subject, is some people should definitely wear clothes. Or at least underwear that actually fits. It really did add insult to injury.Suffice to say, that the cast ran the gamut of emotions from A to…well… to A really.Skeleton Crew was bad. Not just bad in the conventional sense as in badly written, acted, or directed…but unwholesome like biting into a rotten apple or taking a mouthful of sour milk. It was violence and gore, for the sake of it…gratuitous lesbian sex that had NO real relationship to the plot, other than trying to appeal to people's baser instincts. All in all it left a nasty taste in my mouth.I now live in mortal dread that any of these people involved would ever option one of my own stories for the movie rights.Avoid this awful rubbish like a dose of terminal hemorrhoids, unless you really are, like me, in pursuit of the worst horror movie ever made!

Michael-d-duncan The story is about a group of film makers who are shooting in the actual location where the murders they are pretending to portray actually happened. The director is then over come by the power of the evil doctor who still haunts the facility. House on Haunted Hill anyone? The acting is campy which is exactly what I was looking forward to. I wanted a B-movie. They really needed to pack it in a bit sooner.The story is a total rip off! The scenery from saw plus the demented doctor from House on Haunted Hill. Add in a bit of predictability and you've passed two kidney stones and an hour plus thirty.