Snow Shark: Ancient Snow Beast

2011 "Frozen in the ice for thousands of years... the beast has finally awoken"
1.9| 1h20m| R| en| More Info
Released: 12 October 2011 Released
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Country: United States of America
Budget: 0
Revenue: 0
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Synopsis

12 years ago during a scientific expedition 3 animal biologists stumbled upon a great discovery that ended in tragedy. Whatever killed them has awoken and now the legend of the Ancient Snow Beast could prove to be more than just a legend.

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Reviews

IslandGuru Who payed the critics
Fairaher The film makes a home in your brain and the only cure is to see it again.
Micah Lloyd Excellent characters with emotional depth. My wife, daughter and granddaughter all enjoyed it...and me, too! Very good movie! You won't be disappointed.
Fulke Great example of an old-fashioned, pure-at-heart escapist event movie that doesn't pretend to be anything that it's not and has boat loads of fun being its own ludicrous self.
arfdawg-1 12 years ago during a scientific expedition 3 animal biologists stumbled upon a great discovery that ended in tragedy. Whatever killed them has awoken and now the legend of the Ancient Snow Beast could prove to be more than just a legend.Well we know from like frame one what killed them cuz we see it.I', surprised at reviews that say this is the worst movie ever. No way. Is it good? We that's relative. Low budget means it's not gonna be great. But it's really sort of funny and watchable.And I don't think it's meant to be taken seriously. Plus, I've seen far worse acting in these kinds of movies.It won't change your life, but it's watchable. And you will get a few laffs throughout.
Woodyanders A prehistoric shark of local legend begins eating the locals in a quiet wintry small town. Mike Evans (essayed with hammy brio by writer/director Sam Qualinana), the sole survivor of a past snow shark attack, leads an angry and armed posse who are determined to slay the beast. Writer/director Qualiana treats the gloriously ludicrous premise in a sidesplitting mock serious manner: The abundant cheesy gore (the CGI blood in particular is quite tacky), a hilariously obvious shark puppet, poky pacing, the monotonous hum'n'shiver synthesizer score, lousy (markedly less than) special effects, cardboard stock characters, a decent smattering of tasty gratuitous distaff nudity, crude cinematography, and the meandering narrative all give this exquisitely abominable baby a certain chintzy hokey charm that's impossible to either resist or dislike. The endearingly awful acting by the lame no-name cast further adds to this picture's considerable kitschy appeal, with stand-out stinky work by Michael O'Hear as the no-nonsense Prof. Jonathan Hoffman, Jackey Hall as the feisty Daphne, C.J. Qualiana as the morose Sheriff Donald Chapman, Kathy Murphy as the tart Wendy, Andrew Elias as nerdy cryptozoologist Lincoln Anderson, Andy Taylor as obnoxious macho redneck hunter Cameron Caine, and Robert Bozak as the jerky Mayor Shawn Overman. A complete crummy hoot.
Bliz Zard I'm trying to find anything positive in this movie but they've done a very good work at making it awful.The acting of every single actor is bad, and not in the way you can enjoy by having fun of them, they are just boring.The attacks of the snow shark are just horrible. Most of them are just the victim screaming and a blood stain in the snow, but the thing goes worse when they show the shark briefly and you discover that is a puppet.I was hoping to see at least lots of blood and guts but don't count of it, there is a few blood in every attack but nothing remarkable.If you really want to see a snow shark then I guess this is your movie but don't expect too much.
dailyplanetdude Okay, this isn't the worst movie I've ever seen, but really had to force myself to watch the entire thing. I lost interest two minutes into the movie. Dialogue- stilted, off putting, uninteresting and flat. Characters- no real depth, these characters weren't even two dimensional, they were inverted. No on screen chemistry, talent or engaging characters to relate to. No one to cheer far. Cinematography- Horrible, the color saturation was horrid. It's as if it was shot from a cell phone. Actually, I've got to correct myself, i've seen better movies that were shot from an iPhone. This was just horrible all across the board. Acting, dialogue, characters, story, plot, execution/delivery of the story, no character arcs, nothing interesting.I actually enjoyed cute cat videos on youtube more than this. I imagine it was shot with a couple of friends, a couple of dollars and only a couple of hours, including the editing, retakes, and everyone's shooting schedule. what a piece of crap.