RyothChatty ridiculous rating

Blake Rivera If you like to be scared, if you like to laugh, and if you like to learn a thing or two at the movies, this absolutely cannot be missed.

Ella-May O'Brien Each character in this movie — down to the smallest one — is an individual rather than a type, prone to spontaneous changes of mood and sometimes amusing outbursts of pettiness or ill humor.

Wyatt There's no way I can possibly love it entirely but I just think its ridiculously bad, but enjoyable at the same time.

Leviathan Mother of Tears has to be in my top 10 most unintentionally funny movies of all time. There is not a single moment of this movie that isn't injected with cheese, and then when you're not laughing at how cheesy it is, the movie is typical and boring. The directing could have been done by any intern film student, and your average high school creative writing class student could have written the unimaginative story in a coma. The majority of the movie plays out a lot like a boring thriller that can't thrill, with lots of phone calls and lots of shots of Asia running down the street. If I had to guess, I'd say probably twenty full minutes of the runtime is nothing but the camera watching Asia's back as she runs from something. Though Asia herself did okay in the lead role—and me saying that is VERY generous—every single other actor seemed just to want us to laugh at them. The witches reminded me more of horny, brain-dead teenage girls who just want to get home and get high. That's supposed to be scary? Ha! Sorry, I call that cheese.I was never a fan of Suspiria. It was boring, uncreative, the kills were downright stupid, and it still had those unintentionally laughable scenes that I assume Argento seems to think his audience can take seriously. With that said, Argento at least understood how to direct with Suspiria. Mother of Tears, as I said, is even less imaginative and even more boring. It's essentially Harry Potter, minus the entertainment value and the creativity. I'd even go as far as to say Harry Potter can even carry a more mature/serious tone than Mother of Tears, which is just pathetic.If Argento took the gore out of this movie, it would essentially be a children's movie. With that said, the gore isn't even anything special. Sure, it's a tad over-the-top, but it's nothing that going to shock you because it's just generic. Limbs cut off, guts torn out, throats slit—eh. Seen it all a hundred times. If that's Argento at his most shocking, once again, Argento is pathetic. The gore really isn't that extreme in the first place, and the gore scenes are few and far between. At least Argento isn't a pansy and cuts the camera away during gore scenes like so many other directors—though the gore isn't anything special or disturbing, I give him that much. He has enough balls not to cut the camera away, unlike pansy Eli Roth.In the end, if you're into cheese-horror that isn't scary, you've come to the right place. However, if you're like me and actually wish more of the horror genre was intelligent and actually had true gore/scares, I don't know how you can sit through this.

ian_powell There is much to like here and I found myself more impressed with the film on 2nd viewing. I particularly liked the monkeys. But what kills the film for me is the lack of gravitas around the Mother figure here. she is too soft porn and thus difficult to take seriously. Her henchmen are fine, but she lacks genuine magic, and i. a film that takes magic as its subject, this pulls it down. In an Argento movie, we Can swallow the odd bit of scenery chewing (Udo) and even lack luster CGI and a lessening of the visual poetry of suspiria.... but only if that underlying sense of magic works. It half does work until the Mater turns up looking like a playboy centefold in a cape

Vivekmaru45 All that horror Argento has been eating over the years has come out without the use of any laxative. And it sure does STEENK!!! After watching Suspiria (The Mother Of Sighs), and Inferno (The Mother of Darkness), you'd think Argento would give us his best for last. No unfortunately it is the SH*T-END of Argento's stick(possibly after scr*wing ASIA in the A*S).There is zero suspense in the film. In the gore department, the film goes overboard. There is more profanity is this film than the other two.Plot: An ancient urn is found in a cemetery outside Rome. Once opened, it triggers a series of violent incidents: robberies, rapes and murders increase dramatically, while several mysterious, evil-looking young women coming from all over the world are gathering in the city. All these events are caused by the return of Mater Lacrimarum, the last of three powerful witches who have been spreading terror and death for centuries. Alone against an army of psychos and demons, Sarah Mandy, an art student who seems to have supernatural abilities of her own, is the only person left to prevent the Mother of Tears from destroying Rome.Final Vedict: Argent should've made a p*rno of Asia getting double Penetrated instead.

fedor8 Even witches aren't what they used to be. Argento's Rome witch first had to get a boob-job before making her grand appearance on Earth. Did she feel insecure that Hell's Minions wouldn't take her seriously if her breasts only had a B cup size? Even Hell's Minions aren't what they used to be. This world is going to Hell.The acting is pedestrian, as always, not helped at all by the fact that these Italian and German actors can't articulate their basic English skills too well."There is a booger in my studies that might help us" says Uwe Kier. He meant "book" of course. Still, no hard feelings, since I am a big fan of unintentional mishaps, especially in clumsy horror flicks. Uwe will be Uwe, never in the mood to pick up a English For Beginners book."The buddy was found lying down". The "body", of course. "Parents" become "barents" and so on. It helps to watch this little Argento flick with a hearing aid and subtitles.Casting your daughter isn't necessarily the best decision either. Perhaps Argento could have learned from the mistake of a certain fellow Italian, Francis Ford Coppola. Asia Argento is, always was, and always will be a mediocre actress. Nepotism is a disease and it doesn't work most of the time.I had to wonder though why Dario had decided to film his daughter in the nude, lovingly following her body inch by inch, yet again. The scene was totally unnecessary, unless he wanted to make sure the viewers knew that the main character had a proper wash before she stepped into the arena to fight Evil. Or he just wanted to make sure we were all reminded that his daughter has a fine set of knockers.Or he is just a filthy old man with incestual desires which he isn't ashamed of at all. Klaus Kinski, anyone? There was however one actor who struck me as really good. Yes, I am referring to the little monkey who played the witch's loudest emissary. I thought his performance was quite convincing. His animal trainer must be very good.Which begs the question: should more of Argento's actors be coached by animal trainers? Perhaps that would improve their performances. What worked for the monkey might work for the humans. Not to mention an obligatory ESL crash course for everyone, including the monkey (should he get lines the next time around).Dario should either make a movie in Italian or in English with actors who speak the language. This in-between "solution" has often compromised his films.We are told that the mother of tears loves chaos, which means she is basically just like Dario Argento: his chaotic scripts are only matched by the chaotic movies he makes out of them. Still, this time around the illogic was comparatively mild.What was the point of that lesbian scene? Just for the sake of it.