Bardlerx Strictly average movie

Comwayon A Disappointing Continuation

Yash Wade Close shines in drama with strong language, adult themes.

Fleur Actress is magnificent and exudes a hypnotic screen presence in this affecting drama.

TheVAFan Never in many a day have I ever seen a film so pitful, so awful, so gut bustingly bad, you would want to smash your TV up in anger and the sight of the dreadful thing.That thing is Thomas & The Ma *Coughcough*, sorry about that, I seem to have drank the wrong bottle of Cola. Ahh yes, Thomas & The Tragic Failroad.This should in no way under any circumstances be considered a film, instead it should be called a 90 minute patience test that would even make an avid fan of the franchise go bananas.Is there anything good though? Well yes there sort of is, Hummie Mann's score was good for the most part and I liked the voice acting. Some were good (like Neil Crone as Thomas), some were painfully miscast (Susan Roman as James).Still at least the voice actors put on better performances than any of the miserable, lifeless, so called human actors this film has to offer.These are not actors, these are dead lifeless vessels we're staring at.The one that really takes the cake is Peter Fonda, who is so awful in this film it's not even fun to watch.He looks and sounds so bored and his line delivery is so stilted, you'll be thinking he got drunk.How he didn't get a Razzie I'll never know? I know mate, those glory days of Easy Rider are way behind ya pal.Alec Baldwin's irritating as Mr Conductor and only Mara Wilson (in her sad final role) seems to be doing better but it's still not saying much.On the other hand, the villain Diesel 10 is crap, not menacing in the slightest, he's about as scary as a cute plush bear at a toy store. He and his useless comedy sidekicks are just here to be your typical clichéd Hollywood villains who laugh... a lot.Newcomer Lady is quite frankly dull as incredibly soggy dishwater, she's hardly in the film and when she does appear she STILL does nowt for most of her screen time! Talk about a useless pile of scrap if I've seen one.Plot's an old of cobbles too and the dialogue is so cringe worthy, it's not even funny. It's just depressing to listen to.It's so awful the train's mouths don't even move. It's like it's god damn ventriloquism! So crappy plot, useless villain, useless new character, lifeless performances all around (except for the voice cast) and ear bleedingly bad dialogue. Yep, another film to add in my bad books.I just love how everyone says that this should have gone straight-to-video.Nah guys, you're putting it way too mildly there. Straight-to-the nearest bin-where-it-should-never be seen again is a far more better option.No wonder Britt Allcroft buggered off after the film died at the box office.Now off to the scrapyard you go so I can never remember this film again.It's certainly caused a lot of *Snigger* confusion and delay.The Fat Controller certainly wouldn't approve. At least he ain't in it though.

Python Hyena Thomas and the Magic Railroad (2000): Dir: Britt Allcroft / Cast: Mara Wilson, Alec Baldwin, Didi Conn, Peter Fonda, Russell Means: Pathetic family film about adventure where Alec Baldwin states, "Now I've completely lost my sense of direction." That can explain this career move. He plays an idiot named Mr. Conductor who talks to a baseball bat. One wonders why that bat wasn't put to good inflicting a serious beating on Mr. Conductor. He blows a whistle and gold dust transports him to any destination. I could have used some during the screening. He enlists the help of Thomas the tank engine in locating the lost railroad. Peter Fonda plays a fellow who reads a book called The Romance of Railroads, which proves that he needs laid by anything other than an object. Director Britt Allcroft is given fifty cents for a budget that will result in the stupidest family film since Barney's Great Adventure. Mara Wilson was appealing in Matilda but she isn't doing herself any favors here. Didi Conn has a reputation for family fare but seeing her reduced to this sort of garbage is just shameful. These trains speak by moving their eyes and not their mouths. Perhaps the train was too embarrassed to have an actor like Fonda reduced to this garbage. Such dreadful production values should never be approved to anyone with an intelligence. This film is a totally contrived train wreck. Score: 1 / 10

anthony-rigoni Like my reviews for Fred the Movie and Beverly Hills Chihuahua, I have absolutely nothing to say for the summary of my review. Why are Alec Baldwin and Peter Fonda in a stupid and brainless movie like this one? This isn't Toy Story, this is Thomas the freaking Tank Engine! Well, Thomas the Tank Engine was one of my childhood favorites and I always watched it on video. But, I have one question I got stuck in my head ever since I watched the trailer: HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO MAKE A MOVIE OUT OF A TRAIN WHOSE LIPS DON'T EVEN MOVE AT ALL?!!! First of all, Peter Fonda is too freaking depressing to be in a kid's movie like this! Don't ever let this guy star in a remake of the 1980's Pound Puppies cartoon series anytime soon. And then there's Alec Baldwin, who plays a conductor who looks like he's high on crack and screams "Sparkle, Sparkle, Sparkle!". Is it me or is this "Sparkle, Sparkle, Sparkle" phrase infecting people after they watched the Nostalgia Critic episode reviewing this movie? Then, there's Marla Wilson, who smiles with her mouth open throughout the whole movie. I swear this girl looks like she has autism or Aspergers! There's a whole lot more, but I'm going to wrap up this review: A horrendous script, generic music, crappy special effects, and Peter Fonda's depressing performance are the reasons why I hate this movie and why this movie should never, ever, ever, ever, EVER been made in the first place! And if you disagree, what kind of drugs were you on when you watched this movie?

tez_mike HiYes most of you are correct, the story is cheesy, without much substance and not much like the English cartoon - However - this is a kids film! My little boy is actually sat there now in awe of it, most of the kids this film is aimed at probably don't really understand the plot anyway all they see are trains, little people and gold dust!So what if a lot of the engines have an American accent, I'm sure children don't really care - I don't!What a great cast, Alec Baldwin, Frenchie from Grease and the girl from Matilda, I'm sure thats enough for the adults and if its not, go on your laptop/do some cleaning while your little one sits down peacefully (which hardly ever happens) and watches this film in wonder.Great film for kids under 8.Tez