Mjeteconer Just perfect...

Fairaher The film makes a home in your brain and the only cure is to see it again.

Logan Dodd There is definitely an excellent idea hidden in the background of the film. Unfortunately, it's difficult to find it.

Dana An old-fashioned movie made with new-fashioned finesse.

karl_consiglio At first the Alien, although it looks stupid, at least it looks dramatic. But then later you can see its just a stupid costume. This film, and I never thought I would be saying this about any film, is as bad as Alien Apocalypse. At least its got the odd hot bad chick in it. All this film is about is waiting to see when the monster will strike, and when it will not, that's all. The gold is really cheesily placed too. Some really bad acting as well, and some really bad models for the helicopter and building that explodes ridiculously. Really stupid props, really stupid soldiers, color of jeep, and color of camping tent, everything is bad. If you gonna watch it anyway, look out for that scene when the alien jumps at the helicopter.

Doom Moose If I weren't giving this a sympathy point, I would give it a 0, were it available. Never, ever, EVER have anything to do with this horrible waste of time.For starters, the acting is miserable, and I have never heard the "F" word used more, not even in a Wes Craven movie. Not only do they curse more than necessary, but they sound like uneducated dope-heads when they do. More than once, there are painfully obvious Audio/Visual mismatches. Seriously, they don't even come close. Then there are scenes with various shots, and people talking, but you never really SEE them talking, which is ridiculous.The picture quality looks like something way back in say, the eighties. The scene transitions go from bad to worse as they go to screen swipes towards the end. The special effects are worse than a Sci-Fi original movie, and CREATURE CHANGES ALL THE TIME!!! Seriously, when the beast is in the cave, it has maybe four legs, and when out, it is bipedal. And more often than all the time, footage is repeated from other scenes; easily recognizable.In the DVD, the movie is divided into only 4 scenes to start from, and there are only previews and a ridiculous interview with the director.The movie is full of plot holes, and NOTHING is explained.And finally, the beast on the box, while very cool but looks somewhat like Alien, is NOT in the movie. I don't know what it is, but it is most certainly not what you get. The beast in the movie looks like a Power Rangers reject, and most importantly, it bleeds a bright green and can camouflage. God knows we've never seen that before (*cough cough*) Predator! On the bright side, this movie is good for a laugh, though I'm sure they didn't have such in mind. Lion's Gate has gone from bad (House of 1,000 Corpses) to absolutely horrible (Alien 3000). With a sympathy point for inadvertent humor, I give Alien 3000 1 outta 10.

Toby Kemp How about the outside shot of the exploding building? It looked like it was made of cardboard and Play-Doh. Well, I guess that's because it WAS made of cardboard and Play-Doh. And the cars? They could have AT LEAST splurged and used some Hot Wheels. Oh yeah, the bats in the cave? Ed Wood did a better job with that garbage. Good thing that one dude decided to bring a freakin' paintball bazooka so he'd have something to play with if they got tired of hunting the INVISIBLE monster. Did no one in the group wonder how they were going to see the damn thing? And how about the dynamite the chick was throwing out of the back of the truck? You know, the Toyota truck that was painted with green spray paint and somehow turned into a Chevy S-10 right before it went over the cliff? Yeah, did anyone else notice that it was just three red candles taped together?Had I know Lorenzo Lamas was this hard up I would have sent him twenty bucks.

Dr. Gore *SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT* You could easily write a book about all of the things wrong with "Alien 3000". Easily. This movie screams incompetence from beginning to end. It proudly shouts it from the mountaintop for the whole world to hear. But I would be lying if I didn't say that I found a few terrible parts enjoyable. There were scenes in "Alien 3000" that had me rolling in my chair with laughter. I doubt the movie was looking for that reaction but it got it from me."Alien 3000" is about a cave and the cheap invisible monster that lives there. The government sends a misfit crew of mercenaries to check it out. Lorenzo Lamas is hanging out back at their cardboard building headquarters for some B-movie backup. After much shouting and arguing amongst the soldiers, the monster decides he's had enough of their whining and proceeds to tear his way through them."Alien 3000" is a bad movie. It's got bad acting, horrible casting, atrocious special effects and generally reeks like a dead fish. The problems are almost too numerous to mention but here are some of them. First off, if the government is so concerned about the monster, why does it send the reject squad of mercenaries to handle it? These bozos didn't look like they could kill a slow moving fly, let alone kill a monster. All of the scenes with Lamas looked like they were filmed separately. He never once interacted with the main cast. "Alien 3000" felt like two or three different movies pounded together.The other big problem was with the special effects. They were mighty cheap and terrible although some of them were so awful that I had to laugh at them. One scene has a soldier running toward Lama's helicopter when he suddenly explodes. Another scene has the monster flying through the air and landing on Lorenzo's copter. These scenes may sound reasonable enough but in the movie they are handled with such ineptness you'll be howling with pain/joy. Both of these scenes had me laughing my head off. At least I got something halfway fun out of "Alien 3000".